The Godfather II

Over the past week, the Godfather saga has continued.  (Okay, so that last statement makes it sound much more dramatic than it is.  Discussion of the topic takes up maybe five minutes of the time Josh and I spend together each day.  It is just a big issue in my mind.)

First, a few days ago, I was surprised when, having received no word from the priest, Josh said, "Oh, well.  If he won't give me the letter I just won't do it.  No big deal."  It was a plesant surprise for me.  I felt like he had taken a deeper look at the situation (or thought about the horror of "lying to God!") and decided that it was more important to be true to his own values and common sense than to jump through the hoops of a church in which he doesn't really believe. I thought the matter was over and done with.

Then, the priest replied. He explained that the letter was actually a certified form, and that he would try to get one for Josh - like he did before for Josh's friend's daughter's baptism. I guess I am less worked up now that I know that he was at least willing to just drop it instead of concocting a big scheme to lie to the church. Part of me wanted to call that priest up myself and ask him why HE was so willing to participate in this. Anyway, it has become a minor daily update between us and mostly an afterthought. The topic did stir the pot a little between us though. As I was drifting off to sleep last night while watching a rerun of a particularly good episode of Bones, Josh asked me why I like the show so much. I mumbled sleepily, "Bones is, like, ultra-rational and I like to hear her talk about religion and science and stuff." He said, "You can be rational and still have faith." I said something to the effect of, "Yeah, right." I was nearly asleep and only realized how awful that probably sounded to him, but I was too tired to defend myself and he was just quiet after that. At least it's out there, right?

On another note - CNN's Anderson Cooper is doing a week-long series about the Church of Scientology. Check it out! It's both well-researched and entertaining (and a little disturbing as well). I'll write more about this in the future.


S.A.M.

S.A.M. has been added to the Atheist Blogroll!

Sweet Atheist Mistress has been added to The Atheist Blogroll!  This is an awesome collection of websites - one I absolutely encourage you to explore if you enjoy intelligent talk and entertainment. You can see the blogroll in my sidebar.

The Atheist blogroll is a community building service provided free of charge to Atheist bloggers from around the world. If you would like to join, visit Mojoey at Deep Thoughts for more information.

(Thank you, Mojoey!)

S.A.M.

"A" Week on Facebook

Just a note - Atheists on Facebook are Celebrating "A" week by changing their profile pictures to the Scarlet A.  Check out the Facebook group here.  Join, change your profile picture, and find out how many atheists are really out there!  Personally, I'm going the extra mile and wearing my "Scarlet A" pin (from The Out Campaign online shop) all week.  Join me!!!

S.A.M.

A Christian Against His Own

One co-worker whom I'll refer to as Bob is a serious Christian - bible study and all.  (He's the one who told his bible group that he worked with an Atheist.)  This morning, Bob was talking about how he caused a near-riot at his bible study discussion group this weekend by suggesting a different approach to the abortion debate.  He suggested that Christians have a bad image in the media (basically that they are right-wing fundamentalists) because they try to make politicians fight their battles for them, especially when it comes to abortion.

I thought this was a rather profound observation - and very true.  I'm not so concerned about the public image of religion (and I can think of a million reasons why it COULD have a bad image), but the part about having politicians fight their battles is actually true.  Bob proposed that they let politicians deal with the law and that Christians go out personally and work at pregnancy counseling centers, with youths at risk for getting pregnant, and within their own families.  His theory is that there are a lot of people who are personally against abortion but still think that this is a personal responsibility and that legally women should have a right to choose, and the church's attitude could be keeping them away from their church community.  I thought this was a surprisingly open-minded idea coming from him.  Actually, apparently, it was a little too open-minded for his group.  He said that one woman immediately began yelling that his idea would never work and didn't he understand the importance of making their ideas the law.  Wow.  How telling.  "Our way should be the only way."  What about freedom of religion or non-religion?  What if some religions stood by the right to choose?  Bob said he just was overwhelmed with negative feedback, for simply saying that WHILE HE AGREEED WITH THEM ABOUT ABORTION, they try a different approach.  THIS is exactly why Christians are viewed as close-minded.

Not being a Christian, I just stayed out of the conversation.  Had I said anything, it would have been that I was at least proud of Bob for respecting and understanding the intent to keep church and state as separate entities.  I'm sure he wouldn't like to hear my thoughts about the rest of his group.  And it IS true that religious institutions in America have been expressing a certain political power and pressuring politicians with access to their voting block (which is led by church leaders - those that church-goers are supposed to obey and learn from.).  Maybe he should have quoted the bible - Matthew 7:1-5.

Do not judge others, then you will not be judged. The way you judge others, that is the way you will be judged. How much you give to others is how much will be given to you. `Why do you look at the spot of dust in your brother's eye? But you do not see a big stick in your own eye! Why do you say to your brother, "Let me take the dust out of your eye"? And all the time you have that stick in your own eye! You are not true to yourselves! First take the stick out of your own eye. Then you will be able to see to take the dust out of your brother's eye.

It was a bible study class, after all.

S.A.M.

To Godparent or Not to Godparent

Joshua's brother has asked him to be a godfather to his niece.  His family is Catholic, and Josh was raised Catholic, but being the black sheep of the family, he left the church and often expresses his frustration with the doctrines of organized religions.  For those of you not familiar with Catholic protocol, you must have a letter from your parish recommending you to be a godparent, otherwise known as the back-up teacher of religion in the event that parents fail to properly indoctrinate the child.  Josh's brother and sister-in-law are, I'm sure, aware of Josh's split with the church, but they see godparenting as the opportunity to establish an extra-special relationship between their daughter and her uncle.  They mentioned that they would want Josh to take care of her if something happened to them, and traditionally, in the Catholic faith, a godparent is likely to step in as guardian when a child is orphaned.  In reality this is taken care of legally in a will.

When Josh asked for my ideas about how to get this letter, I had some really mixed feelings. I teased that no matter how he got it, he would be lying to God (he believes in some sort of a supreme being).  I said it jokingly, but deep down I was probably trying to use "religion" to guilt him into doing the right (meaning consistent with his beliefs) thing.  Hey, that's what religion is for, right?  I mean, to all of the people involved, this is more of a personal honor and family tradition, but something that is blessed by the church.  To the church, this is a Catholic vow, though.  To his brother, Josh is a great person with a good and honest heart, more than worthy of caring for his daughter.  To the church, Josh is another drop-out hoodlum.  What Josh cares about is his brother and niece, and he is determined to fulfill the request.

Besides, Josh already IS a godfather to a close friend's daughter.  He is pretty sure that if he pulled it off once, he can pull it off again.  He had a past co-worker who is a priest write him the holy letter of recommendation.  I said he might as well try tracking the guy down and seeing if he was willing to write out another churchly white lie.  My other suggestion was to go to the church up the street, say he just moved, and try to join their parish.  I told him that he would have to start going to church if he did that though - at least until he got the letter.  He said it would interfere with his work schedule, which it would, but I pointed out that the church isn't going to buy that.  (Look, I'm just reminding him of the guilt that is required when dealing with the Catholic Church!)  I'm sure that Josh will find a way to get this done.  I'm proud of him that he a person of such integrity that people feel he is the best person they know to mentor their children.  I'm a little disappointed that he doesn't talk to them more about his feelings about the church and maybe look for an alternative.

I've read about "atheist Jews" who do not believe in God but still practice because they feel that the Jewish traditions connect them to their family and heritage.  I can understand that, even if it is not something in which I would personally participate.  But now I imagine that such a lifestyle must be wrought with trouble.  As long as the church is not open to the questioning of God and his role in the universe (and I have heard that, at least, the Jewish faith is more open than most to this), one is required to lie to participate.  Maybe it is an unintentional fail-safe for the church - it keeps people from slowly drifting away from the church by holding their traditions hostage.

When Dixie had her children, she invited me to come to their dedications as an honored guest.  They do not have godparents (she is not catholic, rather some denomination of Christian, so I don't believe it is required) but her children, who address me by my first name, no "Miss" or "Aunt" before it, clearly know that I am a dear friend of their mom's, someone they can look to for advice, protection, or love, and that I hold a special and unique place in their lives.  I'd like to pose this as an alternative to Josh, but he obviously already knows this and has decided to try to stick with his family's traditions.  As I've mentioned before, I put on the kid gloves when it comes to Joshua and his faith.  I'm not sure that love SHOULD be exception-making, but sometimes it is.

S.A.M.

When Bloggers Vanish - The Legend of KafirGirl

KafirGirl was one of the first bloggers I followed regularly.  I don't remember how I stumbled upon her, but it was early in her mission as a Muslim-turned-atheist to read the Quran from cover to cover and blog about it in her hilarious and still educational style.  I actually bought a Quran myself to follow along.  Her reasons?

There are so many reasons. Here are a few:

1. I’m a glutton for punishment.
2. I grew up in a Muslim household, and it’s important for me to understand how so many people (including my own family) can be duped by this religion.

3. I think Islam escapes a lot of the scrutiny that the Bible gets, and that’s really unfortunate, because it’s just as fucked up as Christianity and Judaism are.

4. I was really inspired by the guys who do The Non-Prophets podcast and The Atheist Experience TV show. (If you haven’t heard of either, definitely check them out.) These guys know the Bible better than most of the Bible thumpers who call in to the show. Know thy enemy, right? That’s what I’m trying to do. I thought I’d start with the Quran since it’s the one that hits closest to home.

I looked forward to her posts daily.  I sent a link to her page to a lot of my friends, and apparently I was not the only one because the numbers of her followers and comments boomed.  She even had her own Cafe Press site with merchandise donning her logo.  She was just nominated for a LadyBlogger award.
 
Then, suddenly, one day in February of 2009, she disappeared.  Her last interaction with the site appears to be:

Jaffar, your question is flawed. You’re assuming that someone “made” the whole universe. It’s a circular argument.

kafirgirl
February 3, 2009 at 3:55 pm

Slowly, the comments on this last post took on a worried tone. Fans began e-mailing her and checking her other known profile on Atheist Nexus (which also had also not been updated).  Some were convinced that she quit, others suggested that she could have been attacked for what she wrote.  Some simply missed her.

Of course, it's not impossible that she had some personal reason for suddenly giving it up, but if that was the case, why not take down the site all together?  I have a vague feeling that something has happened to her, but what can you do when an anonymous internet user goes missing?  What recourse does one have?

For now, I'm stuck with a desperate plea:  Does anyone know the whereabouts of KafirGirl??

S.A.M.

How to Win a Non-argument

(Art courtesy of www.BansheePubNYC.com.)

You gotta love people who just seek out arguments, attempting to provoke, instigate and incite at every turn.  Seriously, though, right?  They make us think every decision through.  What if you could just say you were an atheist and never have to consider the implications or the meaning of your non-belief?  I know I sure learned a lot about myself by being battered with the usual questions and counter-arguments.

But what about those people who practically make up arguments to have and then blindly hold their irrational ground? 

This morning, before the freaking sun even came up, a co-worker decided to offer up a somewhat-weak idea for a project.  I'm sure I had a matching somewhat-weak response as I reluctantly accepted the file at my desk.  I had a little time on my hands, so I planned to look into it anyway, but he immediately started arguing and demanding to know what was wrong with it.  This man, I think, was just upset at my initial lack of enthusiasm with his pitch and didn't even give me a chance to look into the idea.  As his voice raised and his hands started flying wildly around in the air (as if to propel his sarcastic tone), I waited patiently.  Then, I explained that I planned to look into this, give it a little more meat, then we could pursue the project.  He began yelling that I was giving him attitude, "the hand" and everything else, and that I could "stick it."  At this point, as I was sitting quietly, hands in my lap, I was amused to imagine what he must have been seeing in his mind.  I'm guessing that I resembled the traditional Banshee of Irish folklore with hair as red and wild as flames, flying over his head while shrieking so loudly that his ears bled and waving my bony hands just inches in front of his face to torment him.  He had clearly crossed his line into crazy anger - or hallucinations.  I said, "Excuse me, but I have been calm, patient, and have not moved.  You are raising your voice and you clearly have lost track of what is going on here.  I am looking into your project and I'll get back to you."  He yelled that I was putting up walls and think all of his ideas are awful and I rejected this without even looking at it.  I said, "I already told you that I accepted the idea and that I would be doing some support work to get it going.  At no point did I argue with you.  You need to leave my office, go back to your desk, and regain control of yourself and your attitude.  NOW."  He paused, maybe weighing the consequences of continuing his tirade, then stormed out, slamming my door.
 
(As a side note, no, I don't think that this is normal behavior for a working environment, but in this stressful line of work it had been protected as acceptable.  Yes, I do think this is frustrating and wish it would change, but until I actually run the entire company I can only control myself and conduct myself as an adult and professional and keep reminding the higher-ups that this is not acceptable behavior and not necessary to the creative process.  Sadly, if they ever listened, it would result in firing a majority of the staff.  Oh well.)
 
ANYWAY, the "moral" of the story is that the only way to win a non-argument is to refuse to participate at all.  Let go of caring about what they think of you and accept that your participation in this type of trap will not help the situation because they have already dismissed the chances of having any fruitful intellectual exchange.  They have already rigged the game so that they win as soon as you respond, at least in their own mind.  Be the adult and save your energy for a better forum.  The instigator will go home disappointed, knowing in the back of his mind that he lost - and made a fool of himself in the process because you called his bluff.  It also saves your own sanity.
 
S.A.M.
 
PS - This is a good strategy to keep in mind if you plan on talking to Creationists any time soon!