You gotta love people who just seek out arguments, attempting to provoke, instigate and incite at every turn. Seriously, though, right? They make us think every decision through. What if you could just say you were an atheist and never have to consider the implications or the meaning of your non-belief? I know I sure learned a lot about myself by being battered with the usual questions and counter-arguments.
But what about those people who practically make up arguments to have and then blindly hold their irrational ground?
This morning, before the freaking sun even came up, a co-worker decided to offer up a somewhat-weak idea for a project. I'm sure I had a matching somewhat-weak response as I reluctantly accepted the file at my desk. I had a little time on my hands, so I planned to look into it anyway, but he immediately started arguing and demanding to know what was wrong with it. This man, I think, was just upset at my initial lack of enthusiasm with his pitch and didn't even give me a chance to look into the idea. As his voice raised and his hands started flying wildly around in the air (as if to propel his sarcastic tone), I waited patiently. Then, I explained that I planned to look into this, give it a little more meat, then we could pursue the project. He began yelling that I was giving him attitude, "the hand" and everything else, and that I could "stick it." At this point, as I was sitting quietly, hands in my lap, I was amused to imagine what he must have been seeing in his mind. I'm guessing that I resembled the traditional Banshee of Irish folklore with hair as red and wild as flames, flying over his head while shrieking so loudly that his ears bled and waving my bony hands just inches in front of his face to torment him. He had clearly crossed his line into crazy anger - or hallucinations. I said, "Excuse me, but I have been calm, patient, and have not moved. You are raising your voice and you clearly have lost track of what is going on here. I am looking into your project and I'll get back to you." He yelled that I was putting up walls and think all of his ideas are awful and I rejected this without even looking at it. I said, "I already told you that I accepted the idea and that I would be doing some support work to get it going. At no point did I argue with you. You need to leave my office, go back to your desk, and regain control of yourself and your attitude. NOW." He paused, maybe weighing the consequences of continuing his tirade, then stormed out, slamming my door.
(As a side note, no, I don't think that this is normal behavior for a working environment, but in this stressful line of work it had been protected as acceptable. Yes, I do think this is frustrating and wish it would change, but until I actually run the entire company I can only control myself and conduct myself as an adult and professional and keep reminding the higher-ups that this is not acceptable behavior and not necessary to the creative process. Sadly, if they ever listened, it would result in firing a majority of the staff. Oh well.)
ANYWAY, the "moral" of the story is that the only way to win a non-argument is to refuse to participate at all. Let go of caring about what they think of you and accept that your participation in this type of trap will not help the situation because they have already dismissed the chances of having any fruitful intellectual exchange. They have already rigged the game so that they win as soon as you respond, at least in their own mind. Be the adult and save your energy for a better forum. The instigator will go home disappointed, knowing in the back of his mind that he lost - and made a fool of himself in the process because you called his bluff. It also saves your own sanity.
S.A.M.
PS - This is a good strategy to keep in mind if you plan on talking to Creationists any time soon!
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