The Best Idea That My 17-year-old Self Ever Had

 

Really, I must ask this: What is it about High School that traps and changes people for the rest of their lives?  Why is High School so important to people?

Part of me wants to say that the idea that high school is the “most important four years of your life” is really just a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If enough people around us stress its importance, in many cases we will also eventually assign it value.  Since it has no exceptional inherent value beyond being the middle years (for most) of formal education, maybe we stuff it with whatever value we can easily grab: “I’ll have these friends for the rest of my life!” “This is the last time we can REALLY have fun!” “I’ve defined my whole identity here!”

But, really, do ANY four years of our lives have such a formative impact on us?  Maybe the period of 0-4 years old holds such importance, when we go through some of our most quick and dramatic developments as humans.  I think college would far-overshadow high school as formative since this is usually a period of being on one’s own for the first time, choosing the first solid steps of one’s life path, transitioning into a self-reliant adult human.  It just seems silly to me that people probably couldn’t remember all of their 7^th grade teachers or 5^th grade spats, but people cling to high school like it’s the last life preserver flung from the titanic.

Yes, I have a reason for my rant!  I was apparently the one who missed the memo that high school was a turning point in my life.  Since I was a little girl, I dreamed of jobs and college.  College, I thought, must be incredible!  You get to pick your classes in things you’re interested in, and your classmates usually share your interests!  You’re free to come and go as you please, because, of course, you’re living free of your parents.  No one will “make” you go to church, or “make” you do anything, really!  High School just seemed like a glorified 8^th grade in a new building – four more years of waiting for that magical school called “college.”  During my senior year of high school, I had already found my way into college and pulled double-duty with night classes – I had a semester of college classes finished when I got my high school diploma.  Maybe that is why, when I walked out of high school in my cap and gown, I decided there was no reason to look back.  I was only really close to one high school friend, and since we went to the same college, we kept in contact for a few years before drifting off into our own endeavors.  I simply had no interest in anyone else, I think.  When I was a junior in college, I was offered a career at the company I’m still working for now.  By the time I graduated from college, I had a new set of “work” friends, and my priorities were already reset for a corporate ladder climb and adult-style life.  I didn’t even show up for the whole cap-and-gown ordeal that time.  College was fun, I learned a ton, and it’s where I met Dixie, so I loved those aspects of it.  I keep those things with me.  But when my 10-year High School Reunion came around a few years back, I politely declined, out of lack of interest.

But, now, we are in the wonderful world of the internet, and I received a friend request on Facebook fro m a girl from High School.  To say we didn’t get along with each other may be an understatement – we were just polar opposites that clashed often because we happened to be stuck with a number of mutual friends.  I decided to accept, since she seemed to just want to be friendly, and I held no ill will.  I made it a conscious decision on graduation day to leave all of my bad feelings and bad words I might have had for anyone in high school exactly where they belonged – in high school.

It has been interesting seeing what she is up to, and we shared a few comments.  Then, this morning, I noticed a status from her about a famous guy I’ve always liked.  I began to read the comments that followed between her and some other people we went to high school with.  They were all about me.  My high school locker, my high school crushes, all in a mean and cliquey light.

You have GOT to be kidding me.  More than a decade later, they were STILL discussing these things?  And now, they’re doing it while I’m in the virtual room.  I thought about defriending her right off the bat, but there was something that seemed just as high-schoolish about that, and I really don’t feel like getting dragged into the drama I left behind so long ago.

I clicked “like” instead.  The “like” was personal - for the decision I made on graduation day to let go of it all, which may have been the best idea my 17-year-old self ever had.

S.A.M.