To Godparent or Not to Godparent

Joshua's brother has asked him to be a godfather to his niece.  His family is Catholic, and Josh was raised Catholic, but being the black sheep of the family, he left the church and often expresses his frustration with the doctrines of organized religions.  For those of you not familiar with Catholic protocol, you must have a letter from your parish recommending you to be a godparent, otherwise known as the back-up teacher of religion in the event that parents fail to properly indoctrinate the child.  Josh's brother and sister-in-law are, I'm sure, aware of Josh's split with the church, but they see godparenting as the opportunity to establish an extra-special relationship between their daughter and her uncle.  They mentioned that they would want Josh to take care of her if something happened to them, and traditionally, in the Catholic faith, a godparent is likely to step in as guardian when a child is orphaned.  In reality this is taken care of legally in a will.

When Josh asked for my ideas about how to get this letter, I had some really mixed feelings. I teased that no matter how he got it, he would be lying to God (he believes in some sort of a supreme being).  I said it jokingly, but deep down I was probably trying to use "religion" to guilt him into doing the right (meaning consistent with his beliefs) thing.  Hey, that's what religion is for, right?  I mean, to all of the people involved, this is more of a personal honor and family tradition, but something that is blessed by the church.  To the church, this is a Catholic vow, though.  To his brother, Josh is a great person with a good and honest heart, more than worthy of caring for his daughter.  To the church, Josh is another drop-out hoodlum.  What Josh cares about is his brother and niece, and he is determined to fulfill the request.

Besides, Josh already IS a godfather to a close friend's daughter.  He is pretty sure that if he pulled it off once, he can pull it off again.  He had a past co-worker who is a priest write him the holy letter of recommendation.  I said he might as well try tracking the guy down and seeing if he was willing to write out another churchly white lie.  My other suggestion was to go to the church up the street, say he just moved, and try to join their parish.  I told him that he would have to start going to church if he did that though - at least until he got the letter.  He said it would interfere with his work schedule, which it would, but I pointed out that the church isn't going to buy that.  (Look, I'm just reminding him of the guilt that is required when dealing with the Catholic Church!)  I'm sure that Josh will find a way to get this done.  I'm proud of him that he a person of such integrity that people feel he is the best person they know to mentor their children.  I'm a little disappointed that he doesn't talk to them more about his feelings about the church and maybe look for an alternative.

I've read about "atheist Jews" who do not believe in God but still practice because they feel that the Jewish traditions connect them to their family and heritage.  I can understand that, even if it is not something in which I would personally participate.  But now I imagine that such a lifestyle must be wrought with trouble.  As long as the church is not open to the questioning of God and his role in the universe (and I have heard that, at least, the Jewish faith is more open than most to this), one is required to lie to participate.  Maybe it is an unintentional fail-safe for the church - it keeps people from slowly drifting away from the church by holding their traditions hostage.

When Dixie had her children, she invited me to come to their dedications as an honored guest.  They do not have godparents (she is not catholic, rather some denomination of Christian, so I don't believe it is required) but her children, who address me by my first name, no "Miss" or "Aunt" before it, clearly know that I am a dear friend of their mom's, someone they can look to for advice, protection, or love, and that I hold a special and unique place in their lives.  I'd like to pose this as an alternative to Josh, but he obviously already knows this and has decided to try to stick with his family's traditions.  As I've mentioned before, I put on the kid gloves when it comes to Joshua and his faith.  I'm not sure that love SHOULD be exception-making, but sometimes it is.

S.A.M.