Do I Want a Stepford Husband?

One thought led to another yesterday and I found myself on Netflix watching "Stepford Wives."  Okay, so the movie itself is not that great, but it's at least thought-provoking.  (Maybe I would have enjoyed the book better...)  Anyway, I found myself daydreaming (as I did the housework) about the whole concept.  Would I want a Stepford Husband?  How would I program him?

It's a question that's surprisingly hard to answer.  I mean, let's fess up - most of us have at least considered the qualities that would make a perfect mate for ourselves, and if offered that, would we refuse?  I might not want the 50's husband, but what would constitute my ideal and could those qualities be programmed?

The first requirement I thought of for my Stepford Husband would be that he does not put his random things all over the dining room table (which is constantly a battle for me to keep clear and clutter free).  Maybe that's because I was sorting through all sorts of old mail scattered over the table at the time, but the flood gates were now open and I was "programming" my ideal man.  He would have to be intelligent and well-read.  He would at least share the rest of the housework with me too.  Oh, hell, why share?  I can program him to do anything - he can do it all, and I can focus on my career.  He would have to have the bluest blue eyes, and sing to me to make me smile.  He would love my cupcakes and cookies, and he would cook me dinner a few days a week.  He would always compliment me when we are talking to other people, and he would enjoy spending time with my friends and other couples (maybe with their own Stepford Spouses).  My Stepford Husband would surprise me with flowers or little presents from time to time.  He would give me amazing massages when I am stressed, and play the piano instead of video games.  Of course, he'd be excellent in bed!  He would have no religious views, obviously.  And.... what else?  I started to quickly run out of ideas.

"That's it?  That's really all I think it would take for a guy to be my ideal??" I thought to myself.  That may be all I would want to program, but I realized that I probably wouldn't be content without his free will.  There's no way to "program" a John Galt (or Bertrand Russell!).  Would I really enjoy the surprises and flowers if I, in a way, told him to do it?  Do I smile when I hear singing in my house now simply because I like to listen to singing, or does it only make me smile because I know that's what it's intended to do?  And who am I kidding?  I actually like watching Joshua play video games.  My favorite aspects of his personality are all related to his staunch individuality.  I even like when he takes vacations with his friends instead of me because it gives me alone time that I love so much.  I actually like spending a whole afternoon doing housework sometimes!

Soon I was wondering if I would like to be a Stepford WIFE.  What would it be like to live up to that 1950's ideal?  I'm sure that it would actually be nice to play the role for awhile.  Anyone who knows me would probably be shocked to find out that I have had this thought, but, really, I've considered it before.  I think sometimes that it would be a relief to have a very clear set of standards to live up to.  It would be nice to not have to worry about going to work and I really do feel fulfilled and proud when the house is beautiful and dinner is cooked.  It would be a new challenge for me, for sure, but part of me would really like to try.  Secretly, only when home alone, I sometimes dance around with my broom like Disney's Snow White does when she first gets to the cabin in the woods.  The dog hops around behind me like a helpful forest creature, and I blissfully sing some happy song.  For a moment, I am pure Stepford girl.

Realistically, however, I don't think I would last long without a job.  I enjoy working too much.  I like the challenges and environment.  I also like arguing too much to be so submissive!  And, really, I like to be in charge, at least of myself!  I can't rationalize spending a lot of time or money looking perfect all the time.  Most of all, I like to improve myself.  I like the process of learning, getting better at things, experimenting and exploring new possibilities.  If I was already fitting a certain standard for "perfect," there wouldn't be room for any of this.

So, as I washed the last dish, turned out the lights on the almost-immaculate rooms, and headed up to my freshly made bed, I decided that Stepford might be fun to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.